Take some me time. Relax–you deserve it. Indulge yourself. Pamper yourself. Now that’s my kind of advice!

Often, when we’re feeling stressed, worn out, depressed, or even deprived of some good, old-fashion downtime, it makes perfect sense that if we just relaxed and engaged in some self-pampering activities, we would feel so much better. Plan a vacation, go to the spa, schedule a mani-pedi or indulge in a little retail therapy. Ahhh! Who wouldn’t feel refreshed and rejuvenated after a vacation, a day at the spa, or a trip to the mall?

Even as we consider some well-known advertisement slogans,

You deserve a break today

Have it your way

It’s everywhere you want to be

You’re worth it,

we are encouraged to take care of ourselves and satisfy our comforts so we can be refreshed.

In the gospels, we read about Jesus feeding the five thousand. This story begins on the heels of the apostles returning from a mission trip, as well as Jesus learning that His dear friend and cousin, John the Baptist had been beheaded by Herod. Upon hearing this news, Jesus tells the twelve they should all get away for awhile to rest. Jesus may have wanted to mourn the loss of John the Baptist. And the apostles, I’m sure, were exhausted from their trip. So they set sail to a quiet beach for a little R&R.

Jesus and the apostles had quite a following by this time so when people saw them leaving in a boat heading toward Bethsaida, they followed them along the shoreline. The crowds of people grew, and Jesus had compassion on them. Docking the boat in a remote area, Jesus welcomed the crowds. He spoke to them about God’s kingdom and healed those that were sick. So much for that well-deserved rest time!

Finally, as the dinner hour had arrived, the apostles asked Jesus if He could send the crowds away. “They can go to the nearby villages to find food and a place to stay,” the apostles told Jesus. But rather, Jesus (the same guy who said they should get away to rest) tells the apostles to serve and feed the crowds instead. What? Seriously? The apostles had to be thinking, Wait! This is supposed to be our time to relax and be refreshed. We just got back from the mission field, and now you want us to host a party and feed and serve five thousand people? How can we possibly do that? We only have two fish and five loaves of bread!

It was truly miraculous that Jesus fed five thousand with nothing more than a few fish and some loaves of bread. But what’s extraordinary is that after feeding that many people, there were twelve baskets filled with leftovers! In other words, they had enough, and then some.

This story illustrates something beyond having more than enough food to cater an event for five thousand people. It also illustrates what happens when we serve. Proverbs 11:25 says that, “…those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” We find in Philippians 2:3 that we are to “…be humble and consider others more important than ourselves.” Jesus was teaching the apostles to overlook their own desire for comfort and make the five thousand more important. The apostles did. And were they refreshed? Hellooo! They had twelve baskets full of “refreshments” left over for themselves!

I wonder if Jesus had written some of those well-known advertising slogans instead, would they have been worded something like this: They deserve a break today, or They’re worth it?

We live in a generation that has allowed us more luxuries and self-indulgences than any other generation, and yet we still find ourselves on a quest to find more rest and relaxation. We often hear and convince ourselves that we’re tired because we need to rest, or we’re worn out because we do too much. Of course, we need to rest. Even God rested! But is it possible the reason we may be feeling worn out and exhausted isn’t because we’ve been too invested in taking care of others, but because we’ve been too invested in taking care of ourselves? The refreshment we seek to experience isn’t found when we strive to receive more, rather, it’s found when we strive to give more. It’s contradictory to our culture and to our human nature to consider others more important than ourselves; yet, that is exactly what Jesus is trying to teach us. He wants us to understand that when we refresh others, the refreshment we actually experience will be enough, and then some.

Breathe. Last month breathing seemed like one of life’s luxuries for me. My to-do list had me running non-stop. Slowing down long enough to just take in a deep breath didn’t seem to fit into my hectic schedule. My daughter was graduating from high school.

Have graduation celebrations evolved over the years? For some reason, I don’t remember all of the hoopla that is now associated with graduations when I was the same age as my daughter. I remember getting my senior pictures taken. I remember mailing the graduation ceremony announcements to close friends and family. And a graduation party? Well, that was having a few of my friends over to eat and hang out. There were no caterers. No tents. No decorations. No memory tables. No life story picture video–All About Me. In comparison to the graduation celebrations of today, I’m thinking I was gypped!

But I was more than happy to have a big graduation party for my daughter to celebrate her high school commencement. You see, I’m a party girl. I love to plan parties and celebrations to mark the highlights and milestones of people’s lives. One of my side jobs is party planning. And since this was my daughter’s party, everything had to be absolutely perfect.

In Luke 10, we read the story of two sisters, Mary and Martha. Martha had invited Jesus to their home. While Jesus was talking in their living room, Mary sat at His feet soaking up everything the wise teacher had to say. Martha, however, was in the kitchen cooking and preparing the meal. She too, I believe, wanted everything to be perfect for Jesus’ visit. But her frustration grew as she felt she was left to do all the preparations herself. Where was her sister when she needed some extra help? Martha finally acted on her frustration, and asked Jesus to tell Mary to help her. But Jesus responded to Martha by saying, “My dear Martha, you are so upset over all these details! There is really only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it–and it won’t be taken from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

I suppose, in my quest to have everything perfect for the graduation party, I had become slightly high strung over all the details, and may have even engaged in a little proverbial dripping faucet behavior with my family. My husband finally took me aside and told me I needed to chill! Chill? Let me shed a little bit of light on why I was so far from chilling.

Two weeks prior to this graduation party, my dear husband decided to do a landscaping overhaul in the yard. Last summer, we had lost one of our big evergreen trees so we had an empty spot that was in need of being filled with something. We’ve only had an entire year to fill that spot, but apparently, two weeks before a major event is the perfect time to take on such a project! As with many projects, this one had taken on a life of its own. It went beyond planting flowers and laying down mulch. Somehow it turned into digging trenches, designing and building three fountains–complete with accent lighting, landscaping stones, mulch, flowers and prairie grasses.

Then, right on schedule, Murphy (the guy with his own law) showed up! With only ten days left to finish this project, Murphy decided to come in the form of a monsoon. Seriously, it rained every day for a solid week! We also needed to re-stain the deck and touch up the trim. Rain, painting, and landscaping don’t exactly go well together. With each passing day, as no progress was being made on these outside projects, I was becoming less chilled. Only a Martha could truly understand my anxiety!

It’s been weeks since then. The party is now over. The rain had eventually stopped, and at the eleventh hour, mind you (with a full-blown ulcer well in tact) the deck was stained, the railings trimmed, and the empty spot, where our evergreen used to be, donned three bubbling fountains my husband had designed. Everything turned out beautifully. Our backyard was filled with dear friends and family sharing in the celebration of our daughter’s accomplishment. The party was a success.

In the weeks since then, I’ve had time to breathe again (as well as nurture the recently acquired “hole” in my stomach). I’ve often wondered had Jesus been here visiting during the preparations for this party, would He have had a little chat with me? Would I have had my own Martha moment with Jesus? Had I become so preoccupied with the details of the party that I had overlooked the very reason for the party?

Martha had been so focused on the details and preparations of Jesus’ visit, she lost sight of the fact that her Lord and Savior was right there in her very own living room! Martha may have experienced all the preparations of Jesus’ visit, but did she actually get to experience Jesus?

Pam is back to fill in for Jeralyn as she gets ready for her younger daughter’s high school graduation. If you’ve hosted a graduation party, you know how much work there is to do – cleaning, cooking, decorating, yard work . . . Time is short and the “to do list” is long.  

My guests and I finished the meal I had lovingly prepared. Now, it was time for dessert. I sliced the cake and passed generous servings to the women sitting around my lace-covered table. Each piece looked beautiful with its tiers iced on one side in swirls of white frosting. Amidst the “oohs” and “ahs,” my friends began to eat. And then, the room filled with silence – a long silence. It was finally broken when someone said, “What on earth did you use for frosting?”

I was confused. Was something wrong? “Powdered sugar, milk, vanilla and butter,” I said before taking the first bite. When I did, my taste buds rebelled. What on earth did I use?

“It doesn’t taste right, does it.” It came out as a statement and laughter filled the room. As heat seared my face, I excused myself, got up from the table and went to the kitchen. I pulled the container of white powder out of the cabinet and looked at the label. “CORNSTARCH” was printed in my own handwriting. No wonder the frosting was awful. In my hurry to finish the cake, I had mistaken the container of cornstarch for the one holding powdered sugar. I was afraid to reveal my mistake. What would they think of me? What would they say? I felt like an idiot.

I took a deep breath and went back to the dining room. Every eye was on me. When I told my guests what I had done, they could have teased and ridiculed me, but instead, they shared their own cooking catastrophes. The room filled with laughter as we scraped the “frosting” off and ate the naked cake. Some even asked for seconds, minus the cornstarch coating, of course.

We don’t like to admit it, but we all make mistakes. I’ve made plenty. One was in the last guest blog I wrote for this site. I misspelled Punxsutawney. Well, it’s obviously not a word I use every day, and it has a complicated spelling. But that is no excuse. I was embarrassed when it was brought to my attention. I had proofread my post multiple times and even looked the word up in the dictionary. I may have even made a mistake in this post. But as the saying goes, I am only human. And humans make mistakes.

I was among friends when I served cornstarch-frosted cake and my friends did everything they could to lessen my embarrassment. They could have asked me how I could make such a stupid mistake or where I had learned to cook. In addition, I could have been the butt of a recurring joke whenever we met. “Have you frosted any cakes lately, Pam?” or “Pam, have you started writing that cookbook – you know, the one you plan to call Creative Frosting Recipes?” Instead of criticizing me, they built me up. Their actions showed love and compassion.

God wants us to be a community of women who build each other up, not tear each other down. In Colossians 4:6 it says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace.”

What is grace? According to The American Heritage Dictionary, the word grace has several definitions. The definition of “grace” as it is used in the above passage is “a disposition to be generous or helpful; good will; mercy.” Therefore, the words we say to one another should be kind and compassionate.

God’s acts of grace fill the Bible. I am reassured when I read in Joel that God “is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” I am reassured because during my lifetime, I’ve done things that have not been pleasing to God. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, and my conversations have not always been full of grace. But God does not give up on me. He loves me and shows compassion no matter how many mistakes I’ve made.

God created us in His own image, so let us choose to be more like God and speak with grace to one another. Let us build up each other with kind words, compassion and love.

Now, let me tell you about the woman who baked a pie but mistook burdock for rhubarb.

She has the gift of mercy.

He has the gift of discernment.

The honor student has the gift of intellect.

That pageant queen has the gift of beauty.

That football player has the gift of physical ability.

Often, we assume that people like this were just born with natural God-given talent.

When I was growing up, I had a piano teacher who could play by ear. He could listen to a song for just a moment and then sit at the piano and play it perfectly. He didn’t need sheet music or multiple hours of practice. He just listened and played. When I was in junior high school, I had a friend who could do the same thing. She never had a piano lesson in her life. In fact, she didn’t even the know the names of the keys on the piano. Middle C, possibly, but that was it. Yet, she could play the piano as though she had been playing it for years. Any top 40 song that was on the radio, she could play. She was considered the rock star of music in our school. My piano teacher and my friend had been given the gift of music.

I have a friend now who is also considered a rock star of music. She is a concert pianist. I love to listen to her play. Mozart, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky all seem to come to life again when she sits at the piano. What a gift. What talent.

However, unlike my friend from junior high school or my childhood piano teacher, my concert pianist friend had invested hours upon hours and years upon years of training before she could play the piano so well. She endured raw fingertips from striking those keys for hours on end as she would practice. She invested years of training through piano lessons when she was growing up and continued in her development of music as a piano major in college.

If we listened to my piano teacher, my friend from junior high school, and my concert pianist friend play the piano, we would conclude that each had been gifted with musical ability. Yet, if my concert pianist friend listened to a song on the radio and then tried to play it without any sheet music, she wouldn’t be able to play the song. Does that mean she really hasn’t been gifted with musical ability?

Although some people just seem to be born with natural talents, I believe they are the exception, not the norm. We have all been gifted by God to do certain things well. Some may excel in those things naturally, but most of us learn to do things with great success through years of practice, as well as mistakes, setbacks, and stumbles we experience along the way.

That person with the gift of mercy may be someone who went through many trials and tribulations in her life. Through those difficult times, she developed a tenderness in her heart for others. The pain she experienced in her own life is what God used to help bring about the mercy and compassion she so beautifully portrays toward others now.

The person with the gift of discernment may be someone who had to learn to seek God’s guidance the hard way. Continuous mistakes and the consequences that came out of those mistakes is the very thing that finally brought this guy to the place he is today–waiting on God and searching for His wisdom.

And the honor student who seems to “ace” every test she takes, may actually be someone who spends hours with her nose in the books. She doesn’t study because she doesn’t have anything better to do with her time–but because God allowed her to learn that if she doesn’t study properly for tests, she can fail them.

“For He who began a good work in you will be faithful to bring it to completion” (Phil 1:6.) God may have very well gifted you with mercy, intellect, discernment or any other talent you possess. But He is bringing it to completion through the challenges, disappointments, failed attempts, and heart breaks you experience along the way.

Your giftedness may be natural, raw talent that is “just there.” Or your gifts may be something you have to work really hard at in order to experience success. Either way, the expression of your talent is to be used for His glory.  “ … Each of you has received a gift in order to serve others. You should use it faithfully” (1 Peter 4:10.)

The conference is over. The planning, reworking my notes, practicing the timing, adding some extra humorous bling to the presentations, organizing the supplies I would need for my demonstrations, and praying over this upcoming event—as if there’s no tomorrow—has now come to an end. Oh don’t worry. I’m still praying as if there’s no tomorrow, it’s just that my prayers aren’t beginning and ending with, “Dear God, about the conference…”

Although I’m sure God never tires of hearing our pleas, and our repetitive prayers (which in my case, can often be laced with a fair share of worry) I can’t help but to wonder if this time I may have pushed even God’s proverbial envelope! Was it possible that I finally taxed God’s patience? Was He in heaven looking down on me, shaking His head and saying with frustration, “Is she really praying about the same thing again? What does she think I am? Deaf?”

Are there times when you also feel like a broken record as you pray to God? Muttering the same prayer request over and over again as though He may not have heard you the first time?  Maybe you have a big event you’re preparing for, an ongoing situation that has yet to be resolved, an issue that needs some divine intervention, or a decision you are waiting for some direction and guidance on. And like me, you find yourself praying as if there’s no tomorrow. Realizing your prayers are beginning to sound rather familiar, you eventually start to preface them with an apology.  “God, I know I’ve prayed about this situation twenty times already today, but…”

However, God provides a gentle, loving reminder in His Word that encourages us He will never grow exhausted from hearing our prayers.

1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.”

1 Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray continually;”

Romans 12:12, “…persevere in prayer.”

In Luke 18:1, Jesus tells His disciples a parable urging them they should always pray and not give up.

I know I shouldn’t worry. God’s Word also tells us in Philippians 4:6, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” Often, I have to confess my worry to God when I pray.  But the bottom line is, I am praying!

The other day my college aged daughter’s frustration had gotten the better of her. With a disrespectful tone in her voice, she interrupted me during our verbal exchange. I challenged her on her lack of respect. She apologized for interrupting me. Later on that day, she apologized again and asked for my forgiveness. That evening, I received a text message from her apologizing once again. Was I offended by her third apology? Was I thinking, would you quit saying you’re sorry already? No! I delighted in her contrite spirit, and her humility brought a smile to my heart. How much more does God delight in our frequent prayers—even when those prayers include an apology for their worrisome nature?

In Psalm 55:17, David says, “Morning, noon and night I pray and cry aloud and He will hear my voice.” I believe David was praying as if there was no tomorrow, and he was confident that God heard his voice.  Maybe you are praying over and over again for the same thing. Maybe you’re even praying with a level of worry in your prayers. But the bottom line is, you are praying! As Proverbs 15:8 says, “…God delights in our genuine prayers.”

Meet Pam!
I would like to introduce you to my friend, Pam. She is guest blogging for me while I prepare to speak for the upcoming National Hearts at Home Conference next week. I met Pam at the Write to Publish conference in Wheaton, Illinois last summer. We seemed to instantly connect. Since then, we have become friends, and we get together at least once a month for some VERY long lunches!  We have also become each other’s mentor and accountability partners for writing. Since we were both school teachers at one time, we share our past experience of teaching as well. Besides being a dear, sweet friend, Pam is also a grandmother of 5 grandchildren, and a published author! She has written for Time of Singing, The Secret Place: Devotions For Daily Worship, Devokids.com and Appleseed Magazine.

The morning started like many others this winter. I got out of bed, opened the blinds, and muttered, “Not again!” More snow had fallen during the night, just as predicted. It was now official – this snowfall broke the record and made it the snowiest winter ever recorded here. All I wanted to do was go back to bed, pull the blanket over my head, and hibernate until spring.

But when would spring come? I mean, isn’t this March? Shouldn’t the temperatures be forty degrees warmer? Shouldn’t we see crocuses popping their little heads out of the ground? All indications point to a late spring: winter storms with ominous names pounding most of the country, below zero temperatures for days on end. Even that little rodent, Punxsutawney Phil, said we would suffer through a longer winter.

I know I’m not the only one praying for spring to hurry up and get here. The long harsh winter is the focus of most conversations — at church, at work, in the grocery store, on the news. Everyone from the plains to the east coast is grumbling. Even those in the South haven’t been spared. Yep, we’re all beginning to sound like Eeyore.

You know Eeyore, don’t you?  The “I’m the gloomy friend of Winnie the Pooh” Eeyore. The “nothing is right” Eeyore. The “I can’t even enjoy my own birthday” Eeyore. He’s got a Murphy’s Law outlook on life — what could go wrong, will go wrong. There are days when I can identify with this little guy — like the day I woke up to another pile of snow to shovel.

But once in a while, even Eeyore finds a glimmer of hope in his misery. For example, when Eeyore loses his house, he says, “Not a stick of it left! Of course, I’ve still got all this snow to do what I like with. One mustn’t complain.” Even though his loss was huge, he looks for something to celebrate. He sees something positive in the snow where his house had been. (Snow! There’s obviously a lesson in there for me.)

Actually, we really don’t have it that bad. The Bible is filled with examples of people who had greater trials than a bit of snow. They suffered through wars, famine, oppression, and slavery, but in spite of it all, they still found reasons to celebrate. Even during the Roman occupation of Judea, the people remembered God’s blessings by celebrating religious holidays. Leviticus 23 discusses these feasts and festivals set aside for thanksgiving and praising God.

Jesus also participated in celebrations during His time on earth. John 2 tells about Jesus attending a wedding celebration at Cana where He performed His first miracle. Even during Jesus’s darkest days, He celebrated the Passover in remembrance of God freeing the Israelites from slavery. When Jesus’s situation couldn’t get any worse, He didn’t say, “I’m too depressed to celebrate the Passover with you disciples because one of you will lead my enemies to me, and then I will be arrested, beaten, and nailed to a cross.” Instead He celebrated and thanked His Father for all of his wonderful blessings!

You, too, can wake up in the morning and celebrate a new day filled with God’s blessings. It might be a celebration of something you take for granted like warm water for a shower, clean clothes to put on, or food for breakfast. It shouldn’t be hard to find something to celebrate. God’s blessings are all around you.

And for those of you who are sick of winter, instead of complaining about another pile of snow to shovel, why not take a walk in it and see the beauty of the sparkling crystals in the sunlight. Take pictures of the whipped cream snowdrifts that curl along the roadside and the soft blue shadows rippling across the snow-covered fields. But if this seems impossible to you, think of this:

“It’s snowing still,” said Eeyore gloomily.”

“So it is.”

“And freezing.”

“Is it?”

“Yes,” said Eeyore. “However,” he said brightening up a little,” we haven’t had an earthquake lately.”

Does God want us to celebrate? The answer is a resounding “Yes!” Jesus’s parables of the prodigal son, the lost sheep, and the lost coin in Luke 15 show that even God celebrates. These symbolic stories illustrate how God rejoices when even one of his children is lost and then returns to him.

During this Lenten season, Christians around the world are preparing for the greatest celebration of all – the promise of salvation and Christ’s victory over death. Please join me in preparing for this time of rejoicing by finding things to celebrate every day.

The winter Olympics are taking place right now. As my eyes are fixated on the television screen, I find myself amazed at the physical ability of these Olympic athletes. How do they do what they do? They’re bodies bend, contort, and withstand physical exertion that seems humanly impossible! How do freestyle skiers perform turns and aerials as they race down a mountain reaching speeds over 30 miles per hour, and still mange to land on their feet? How do speed skaters circle an ice rink and remain vertical when they are balancing on nothing more than a blade that is less than 1/8 of an inch wide? And figure skaters? Oh my! Graceful would be the last word to describe me even walking across the ice – let alone dancing and pirouetting on the ice.

Have you ever wondered how often these athletes had to fall before they accomplished their success? Or how many times they lost a race, or a competition before they even achieved the honor of competing in the Olympic games? Although its perfectly clear that these athletes have obviously been gifted with physical abilities, it doesn’t change the fact that it took a great deal of determination, discipline, repetition, and bruised bottoms to get where they are today!

We understand that all talented athletes have experienced many a fall on their way to athletic greatness. It makes perfect sense to us that in order to finish a stunt and land on their feet, their bottoms first had to experience many up close and personal moments with the ground. When we hear the testimony of athletes admit their past failures, we appreciate their abilities even more. And we admire them for not giving up.

But do we extend to ourselves that same level of understanding when we fall? When we make mistakes, do we embrace the old saying that says, “failures are stepping stones to success?” If you are anything like me, all too often, your answer to that question could be, “No!” I don’t need the press to compose a cover story out of my mishaps in order to feel that I’m a failure. When I experience my own up close and personal moments with the ground, I have often been convinced that if Self Pity was an Olympic sport, I could bring home the gold!

Thomas Edison once said, “I haven’t failed. I just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.” I love that quote! Not only was Edison remaining positive (by not considering the mistakes he made as failures), he was also admitting that he made ten thousand mistakes to boot! Every time I turn on the lights in my house, I can be thankful that Thomas didn’t consider himself a failure. Because of his determination and optimistic spirit, we now have the ability to see even in the dark!

The other day, I responded to my daughter’s crisis with frustration and exasperation, instead of responding with patience and a calm spirit. Does that mean I failed as a mom? There were times I mishandled a delicate situation with the women on my ministry team. Does that mean I was a failure as a ministry leader? I received a rejection letter from a publisher. Does that mean I’m a failure as a writer?

We may not engage in death defying stunts for a living. And we may not be working on an invention that will change the way future generations live life. But there is something very valuable we can learn from Edison and these Olympic athletes. Besides a tenacious spirit, successful Olympic athletes and Thomas Edison have something else in common. I believe it’s humility. Pride says, “I didn’t really fall. And if did, it wasn’t my fault.” Whereas, humility says, “I fell. But what I can learn from it as I get back up and try again?” At some point in their lives, they had to embrace some level of humility.

It really isn’t a lack of making mistakes that brings about success, but rather the humility to admit we make them, and the humility to learn from them. Proverbs 29:23 says, “Pride will ruin a man, but humility will bring honor and respect.”

When the mistakes we make in life – as a mom, as a friend, as a wife, or as a ministry leader – give us the opportunity to see the ground from a perspective we would rather not see, we can choose to embrace those falls with humility, knowing that success is often achieved by getting back up, rather than never falling to begin with.

I felt my heart grimace. I had that tight, sharp sensation in the back of my throat. Involuntarily, my eyes were becoming moist. Soon my best attempts at trying to hold back my overwhelming urge to cry had failed. “How could they do this to me?” I asked myself. “How can Christians treat each other this way?” My mind kept replaying the situation over again. With each replay, I could feel myself becoming more angry. I concluded, “That’s it! I quit! I don’t want to serve in this ministry. I don’t want to serve at church anymore. And I certainly don’t want to serve with those people. God, find someone else. I am so done with this!”

I busied myself with something else. Vacuuming, I believe. If God’s goal was to get me to thoroughly vacuum my house, He certainly accomplished it! Sleepless nights and frequent chats with God followed over the course of the next few days. Jesus had been hurt and disappointed by people too, I reasoned, but He never quit. He continued to love. Continued to show mercy. And continued to extend grace. “I will do the same.” I finally convinced myself.

Maybe a few weeks, or a few months would go by and eventually there would either be a new people-related hurt or frustration that would arise, or the unresolved feelings from the previous incident would resurface. I did a lot of vacuuming over the course of the nine years I served as director of our church’s mom’s group!

“I quit,” may be a common mantra in the secular work world. Frustration with the work environment or office atmosphere, co-worker relationship issues, and feeling underappreciated, over worked and under paid can result in many people feeling the need to do something else for a living. But is it normal to have those same types of feelings when serving in ministry or working at a church?

Feeling as though we may be compromising our witness, or failing at manifesting the love of Christ may account for the mums-the-word approach to ministry related frustrations. But I believe that disgruntlement in ministry is more prevalent than many feel comfortable admitting.

First of all, we need to understand that people-related hurts and frustrations are nothing new. As a leader, Jesus experienced more than a fair share of people related disappointments by those who were believers. Second, where there are people, there will be disagreement. Were the disciples really arguing over who was going to sit where at the table? And third, there is nothing wrong with feeling hurt, disappointment and anger in ministry, but what we do with those feelings can make all the difference.

If you have heard yourself on more than one occasion utter the words, “I quit” about your ministry position, hang on. You are not alone! Let’s revisit some of Jesus’ leadership and ministry issues. You may just find yourself wondering, how did He manage all that stress without a vacuum cleaner?

In Matthew chapter 8, Jesus heals Peter’s mother in law. How does Peter say, “thank you?” Oh yeah, that’s right, Peter denies Jesus three times. Then, in the garden of Gethsemane when Jesus is feeling anguish over what is about to come, He asks his disciples to pray. What do they do instead? Sleep. And how does Judas, one of the twelve apostles, seal his relationship with Jesus? He betrays Him for thirty pieces of silver.

These hurts and disappointments Jesus experienced weren’t caused by non-believers, or by those who didn’t have a personal relationship with Him. These offenses were caused by the very men who had walked and talked with Jesus, and who had witnessed first hand His love and miracles. They were His own. I wonder if Jesus had an overwhelming urge to cry, and if He frequently asked Himself, “How can they treat me this way?”

In Luke 22 we read about the disciples having a dispute over who was to sit on the right hand side of Jesus at the table. In the middle of the mission field–where the objective of the day was saving lives for eternity–Jesus was having to deal with arguments among His team over who was greatest based on where they sat at the dinner table! Had this leader not been Jesus, a Mental Health day may have been in order!

These situations put office atmosphere, and issues with co-workers in a whole new perspective. So, is it normal for those of us serving in ministry to feel, at times, we need to quit? Absolutely! If the epitome of a ministry leader had work related issues, why would we think we should have anything less?

As God, Jesus knew what was coming even before His ministry began. He knew the end result of His best efforts. Yet, even with that knowledge, He didn’t quit. He continued to love, show mercy, extend grace, and ultimately, He willingly took His co-workers place on a cross.

The way Jesus chose to respond to His hurt, disappointment, and frustration made all the difference in the world. Had He chosen differently, you and I would never have to think about quitting our ministry positions because there would have been no need for us to start them to begin with!

When it is time to put away Christmas–the ornaments, the lights, the decorations, the wrapping paper and the bows–I have an intended place for everything to be stored. Boxes are labeled with my annual Christmas items and placed in the attic until next year. My goal is to keep everything organized so decorating for Christmas the following year will go smoothly. When next year rolls around and I’m ready to decorate the tree, I will know exactly where the boxes of lights and ornaments are. When I’m ready to decorate the fireplace mantel, I will know exactly where the boxes of mantel decorations are. Did I mention that the operative word here is, goal?

Often, by the time Christmas is over, I’m too anxious to get my house back to normal. I’m ready to put everything away and begin the process of thoroughly vacuuming every floor in the house since those little, tiny pine needles seem to resurface on a daily basis and find my shoeless feet!

I’ve come to the conclusion I may treat Christmas clean-up too frivolously. In my rush to get everything packed up and put away, how often have I put something in the wrong place? Maybe I already packed the box where a certain item needs to go, and rather than trying to find the correct box, I simply put it in another one. I reason that when next year comes and I begin to unpack the boxes of Christmas decorations, I’ll eventually find what I’m looking for. But every year there is always, at least, one item that appears to be MIA!

Without fail, this year was no different. On more than one occasion, I climbed the attic stairs and proceeded to rummage, once again, through the shelves of Christmas boxes. I experienced a familiar sense of deja`vu as I scratched my head and repeatedly asked myself, “Now where did I put that?”

Since Christmas decorating is over for another year, I guess I’ll have to wait until next Christmas to find out if I made any progress toward my goal of being organized.

Christmas decorations aren’t the only things I have misplaced. There have been times when I have read a Bible verse, or have come across some words of wisdom in my devotion reading that have powerfully spoken to me. Often, I have assured myself I would remember exactly where I read them. But then, when I would find myself in a situation where I could have benefitted from reading those treasured words again, instead of knowing exactly where to find them, I struggled trying to remember where they were located.

Have you ever experienced those, “where did I just read that” moments, too? Just like the Christmas decorations I annually have to search for, have you ever searched the pages of your Bible trying to locate that specific verse you once read while repeatedly asking yourself, “Now where did I read that?” I have often thought, wouldn’t it be nice to have labeled boxes for God’s treasured words just like I have labeled boxes for all of my Christmas decorations?

Everyone has their own system of organization, but the following ideas may offer some good tips that will help cure the common, “head scratching, and where did I just read that” blues!

Write                                                                                                                           Have a notebook or journal with you when you do your Bible reading or quiet time. When a verse or something you read in your devotional seems to speak directly to you, write it down!

Label                                                                                                                          Label the pages of your journal or notebook with topic headings. For example, Faith, Joy, Hurt and Disappointment, etc. When you read a verse about faith, write it in the section labeled, Faith.

Personally Pray                                                                                                Personalize the words or the verses you read by incorporating them into your prayer time. In Psalm 42:1 we read, “As a deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, oh God.” Therefore, you could pray something like this, “Dear God, as I just read in Psalm 42:1, help me desire and long for You just like a deer desires and longs for water.” When you repeat the verses you read, and use yourself as the subject or the direct object, you will be etching God’s truths more deeply within your heart.

Re-read                                                                                                                      During your devotion and quiet time, re read the words or verses you wrote down the day before. You can keep God’s truths fresh in your memory by repeating them often.

I may have to wait until next Christmas to find out if all of my decorations are exactly where I think I placed them this year, but when it comes to finding God’s priceless treasures, it’s quite possible that I can pinpoint exactly where they are, and I may not have to wait any longer than tomorrow to find them!

I’m sure you’re familiar with those moments in life when the thought, if one more thing goes wrong I’ll…There are the typical words that are associated with finishing that threat. Scream. Pull my hair out. Quit. Recently, the thought of wanting to do all three had crossed my mind. I think my life could have been a testimonial for the adage, if it’s not one thing it’s another!

It started with getting sick. I didn’t just get the usual flu or the yearly cold. This illness had me out of commission for nearly three weeks. Once I started to feel like my old self again, I knew I could finally attend to that past due blog post I needed to finish. I excitedly went to my desk to turn on my computer and start typing all of those thoughts that had been swirling around my head for the past three weeks. But no matter how many times I depressed the power switch all I got was a black screen. With frustration, I audibly exclaimed, “Are you serious?” Forget my over-due blog post. It certainly wasn’t going to happen now!

The day after I had taken my computer into the “doctor,” I received a call with the diagnosis. Apparently, I had shared my recent virus with my computer! “Your computer is badly infected,” the technician told me. “We will have to send it off to be fixed. It will probably take a week before we get it back, but I can call you when it’s ready.”

Sure enough, a week later my computer was ready to pick up. But there was no time to blog now. My daughter’s twentieth birthday celebration was in a few days, and a week later we would be hosting Thanksgiving. I had a To Do list a mile long.

With each situation that took me away from accomplishing my goal, I began to experience an old, familiar feeling. I knew this feeling. I had experienced it many times in the course of my ministry leadership positions. When things wouldn’t go as planned, or when obstacles and challenges seemed to hang around as though they were an invited guest, I would immediately begin to doubt. I would find myself questioning if I was really doing what God was calling me to do. Maybe these constant obstacles I keep experiencing mean I’m suppose to be doing something else in life.

How often do we view the disruptions that happen in life as proof we must not be doing what God has called us to do? Do we sometimes view God as a construction worker who sets up road blocks in our path?  Do we convince ourselves God’s M.O. of letting us know we should be doing something else in life is to put some sort of obstacle in our way? Although, I suppose that could be possible, is there another way to look at life’s obstacles?

What about the captain of a ship who constantly endures rough seas, icebergs or hurricanes? Obviously, he could conclude, God clearly doesn’t want me to be the captain of a ship. He could choose to view the lack of calm waters as proof God must not be calling him to be a captain. Or, he could choose to view those rough waters as opportunities God is using to help him become an even better captain. Because of the numerous difficulties he has been facing at sea, this captain is learning to maneuver his ship through all sorts of challenges. He is becoming skilled at something he otherwise wouldn’t be mastering if he was only experiencing  smooth sailing.

Have you ever thought maybe–just maybe–the disruptions, the failed attempts, or the crises we experience in our leadership roles are really tools God is using to refine our skills? Like the sea captain, we can choose to view the obstacles we face as proof God is not calling us to lead. Or, we can choose to view those obstacles as opportunities God is using to help us become an even better leader.

Completing my L-O-N-G overdue blog post was a challenge. I questioned if I was ever going to get it done. But is it possible that through my recent challenge God was working something in me that needed to be fine tuned? I’m reminded of Philippians 1:6, “For He who began a good work in us will be faithful to bring it to completion.” It’s often the “completion” part that usually is not that pleasant. If you are anything like me, you may even find yourself asking God, “Do you really need to be that faithful?”

But because our God is that faithful, He is continually perfecting us–even through the imperfect circumstances that seem to get in the way of reaching our goals. Perhaps, maybe the real goal isn’t our perceived destination, but rather what we learn along the way.