Pam is back to fill in for Jeralyn as she gets ready for her younger daughter’s high school graduation. If you’ve hosted a graduation party, you know how much work there is to do – cleaning, cooking, decorating, yard work . . . Time is short and the “to do list” is long.  

My guests and I finished the meal I had lovingly prepared. Now, it was time for dessert. I sliced the cake and passed generous servings to the women sitting around my lace-covered table. Each piece looked beautiful with its tiers iced on one side in swirls of white frosting. Amidst the “oohs” and “ahs,” my friends began to eat. And then, the room filled with silence – a long silence. It was finally broken when someone said, “What on earth did you use for frosting?”

I was confused. Was something wrong? “Powdered sugar, milk, vanilla and butter,” I said before taking the first bite. When I did, my taste buds rebelled. What on earth did I use?

“It doesn’t taste right, does it.” It came out as a statement and laughter filled the room. As heat seared my face, I excused myself, got up from the table and went to the kitchen. I pulled the container of white powder out of the cabinet and looked at the label. “CORNSTARCH” was printed in my own handwriting. No wonder the frosting was awful. In my hurry to finish the cake, I had mistaken the container of cornstarch for the one holding powdered sugar. I was afraid to reveal my mistake. What would they think of me? What would they say? I felt like an idiot.

I took a deep breath and went back to the dining room. Every eye was on me. When I told my guests what I had done, they could have teased and ridiculed me, but instead, they shared their own cooking catastrophes. The room filled with laughter as we scraped the “frosting” off and ate the naked cake. Some even asked for seconds, minus the cornstarch coating, of course.

We don’t like to admit it, but we all make mistakes. I’ve made plenty. One was in the last guest blog I wrote for this site. I misspelled Punxsutawney. Well, it’s obviously not a word I use every day, and it has a complicated spelling. But that is no excuse. I was embarrassed when it was brought to my attention. I had proofread my post multiple times and even looked the word up in the dictionary. I may have even made a mistake in this post. But as the saying goes, I am only human. And humans make mistakes.

I was among friends when I served cornstarch-frosted cake and my friends did everything they could to lessen my embarrassment. They could have asked me how I could make such a stupid mistake or where I had learned to cook. In addition, I could have been the butt of a recurring joke whenever we met. “Have you frosted any cakes lately, Pam?” or “Pam, have you started writing that cookbook – you know, the one you plan to call Creative Frosting Recipes?” Instead of criticizing me, they built me up. Their actions showed love and compassion.

God wants us to be a community of women who build each other up, not tear each other down. In Colossians 4:6 it says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace.”

What is grace? According to The American Heritage Dictionary, the word grace has several definitions. The definition of “grace” as it is used in the above passage is “a disposition to be generous or helpful; good will; mercy.” Therefore, the words we say to one another should be kind and compassionate.

God’s acts of grace fill the Bible. I am reassured when I read in Joel that God “is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” I am reassured because during my lifetime, I’ve done things that have not been pleasing to God. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, and my conversations have not always been full of grace. But God does not give up on me. He loves me and shows compassion no matter how many mistakes I’ve made.

God created us in His own image, so let us choose to be more like God and speak with grace to one another. Let us build up each other with kind words, compassion and love.

Now, let me tell you about the woman who baked a pie but mistook burdock for rhubarb.